Fully believing in me

I was asked the question recently of “Why don’t you fully believe in yourself?” And I’ve been chewing on it ever since. I do generally think I believe in myself. I’m confident. I make sound decisions. But there was something there under this question that I needed to explore more. Here are the two areas where I have uncovered that I am not FULLY believing in myself, which is holding me back.

Belief that I can have my best body

Although I have established healthy habits, there is still something inside holding me back from my best body. I don’t mean the one that someone else thinks is best for me, but what I truly feel the most healthy in and safe in my skin. I once heard the theory that people, often women, use fat as a protection to keep themselves from fully being seen. It is a mechanism to blend in with everyone and not draw attention to oneself. The theory went on to also share that we carry weight in places that correlate to our lives (I.e. if we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, we gain weight in our arms. If we believe baby weight is hard to lose, we keep our “mummy tummy”). Although it may not be a popular theory, I’ve never forgotten reading it. I’m beginning to believe there’s more and more truth in it. I’ve always loved the Henry Ford quote “Whether you think you can, or you can’t – you’re right.” I have still been having thoughts that I can’t lose the weight and keep it off, because that has always been my pattern.  But what if I fully believe those chapters of my life are closed and my best body is within my reach? I want to open that door of possibility and fully believe.  

Belief that I am a good mom

This one is interesting to me.  I more often than not, think I’m doing the best I can as a mom. My girls are happy, healthy tiny humans and are surrounded by love and safety. But there’s this little voice of doubt that creeps into my head that tells me I need to be doing more.  Do you ever hear that? I took a look at my social media this week and decided to remove Facebook and Instagram from my phone. My scroll was getting out of control again, which happens from time to time, and the people I was paying most attention to are other parents in the thick of it along with gentle parenting accounts. In my head, I am ok having that content on my feed because it is the “people” I want to surround myself with.  Those who are learning how to consistently grow as a parent and show up as their best parenting self each day.  However, I have a tendency towards perfectionism. With this tendency, I have to be self aware of when I am striving for perfection and am being too hard on myself. I realized that subconsciously, although I’ve made incredible strides in this area, I was comparing myself to these online parents. When I went down the rabbit hole of scrolling, I was unintentionally reinforcing the thought that I am not good enough.  So I am removing that from instant access.  By not having the apps on my phone, I have to pull my iPad or laptop out to intentionally get to social media. I am in control of what I am feeding my mind. 

But what about doubt?

Doubt will always be there for me. It’s letting my belief be bigger than my doubt. I’ve seen the positives in my life when I do FULLY believe. I reach my goals. I see the glass as half full. I am generally more positive. Recognizing that doubt is a safety net to keep me in check, but that doubt does not have to rule the roost, is the best mindset shift I can make in these two scenarios. When I recognize that, it’s easier to fully believe in me and that feels like pure peace in my soul.