A Balance of Gratitude and Grief

As I sit curled up on my couch with an oat milk latte next to my dog in the wee hours of the morning, I am feeling flooded with gratitude. I have a beautiful home, filled with love and joy.  It’s warm inside as the cold rain pitter patters on the windows. I have a kitchen stocked with nourishing food. I’m heading to a yoga class shortly, a luxury that I often forget is a luxury. Both my husband and I have steady income and we feel financially secure. My kids are safely tucked in there cozy beds upstairs. The list of my blessings go on and on. I am grateful for each and every one.

I watched the news last night, flooded with stories and images from the Hamas attack in Israel, and was overwhelmed with grief for those caught amidst the chaos and also wrapped in gratitude that I am safely away from the situation. It is always how I feel when war torn nations come across my news feed. I remember when the war in Ukraine broke out, I was in Hilton Head, SC on vacation, nursing my child on the beach and all I could think about was a mother on the other side of the world, fleeing their home and nursing their child along the road that hopefully led them to safety. It’s a strange spot to be in. Grateful for my life and creature comforts, knowing that someone else in the world is in a completely opposite position. It’s in these moments that I pray the hardest. Prayers of gratitude. Prayers for others. Prayers to understand why any of this is part of God’s plan. 

These moments are also when I question my blessings the most. Including this blog. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been quiet for a bit.  I am grateful for it, but my thoughts sometimes get the better of me that it is a waste of my time and efforts because I have so many other things to do with my time.  Take care of my family, help others in need, work out a little longer, tidy the never ending mess that exists in my house. The list goes on!

On the other end of the spectrum, writing on here is a beautiful freedom. There are so many in this world who don’t have the opportunity to pursue their passions.  To even dream about opportunity for themselves. I’ve always been blessed with the gift to dream.  I had a conversation with a business owner who immigrated here from a Middle Eastern country 20-30 years ago and he commented on how America is so different than where he came from because people are encouraged to dream and can become what they want to be. Having been born and raised here in the US, that perspective blew my mind. 

I am grateful for my blessings. I am grateful for you taking time out of your day to read this blog. I am praying hard for those who right now, are focused on surviving. I pray for their safety, and I pray that some day, they can live out a dream of their own.

2 thoughts on “A Balance of Gratitude and Grief

  1. You continue to amaze me with your ability to put in words what so many of us feel but can’t articulate so beautifully. Thanks!

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