Blakeley, my 4 year old, and I sat playing with magnetiles in our playroom and as we played, the conversation somehow turned to my job. My day job title is “corporate facilitator” so, even though we’ve talked about work before multiple times, I explained to her that I teach grown ups (which she always giggles about, so I’m imagining that she pictures me teaching adults in settings like her pre-school with small chairs and rainbows and butterflies). When I asked her what she wants to be when she grows up, she said “a mommy”. To which I replied, “you can be a mommy and you can also work too.” She thought about it for a moment and said again “I want to be a mommy.” For some reason, I prompted one more time, “Yes, but you can be a mommy and be a teacher or an apple picker (one of her previous job ideas) or anything you want do for work.” Again, I was met with “I want to be a mommy.”
This time, I replied, “and that will be a great job.” I felt the need to validate that if she wants to just be a mommy and that is what fulfills her, I’d be incredibly proud of her. No other job title needed. In the same breath, the realities of the world came crashing into my thoughts: money, a husband who is supportive of a stay-at-home mom, ensuring she isn’t closed off to opportunities in the workforce, will she go to college?, the list goes on. But I paused, and left it at “and that will be a great job.”
I know that the narrative that I tell my kids is important. Family first is one of my core values. If I kept suggesting career paths she could take, it took the value away from motherhood. Which to me, is the most important job in my life, so why at the tender age of 4, did I need to question her desire to be a mom and only a mom someday? Also, her intuition was strong on this. She didn’t hesitate in answering. If she added anything else to her statement of “I want to be a mommy”, it would be because I steered her there. I like opening the door to possibility for my girls so they know they can be anything they put their mind to, but I don’t want them to do something just because they believe I want them to do it. My daughter might look quite a lot like me, but she doesn’t need to be me.
The job title of mom comes with no health insurance, no 401K, and the paycheck comes in the form of hugs, kisses, and seeing your kids blossom into wonderful human beings. It’s the best and hardest job I’ve ever been blessed with. I pray that God continues to give me the words and wisdom to share with my kids about motherhood and their futures as they grow. And that they know how to stay in touch with their intuition