The scale has barely moved.
I’m a little over a month in to recommitting to moving my body and eating mindfully. I have been feeling great and noticed that I am less bloated, my skin is looking clearer and just overall have more energy. So I decided to hop on the scale. And guess what? It is still the same as when I started.
Mindset matters.
For one of the first times in my life, I didn’t judge myself. Admittedly, I was disappointed because I’ve been moving my body every day and eating better, but immediately, my brain said, “it’s only been 1 month.” End of thought, no judgement associated, just a quick reminder that true change for me has never happened over night. I’ll give you a little peek inside my past history with negative body image and yo-yo dieting. I think I went on my first “diet” around 6th grade (yes, that’s right). I started avoiding certain foods and became aware that I was chunkier than other girls. Now mind you, looking back, I was a healthy weight and active daily in sports, but middle school is a hard place for anyone who is a little different. And I felt different. In the years that followed, I tried everything out there, crazy restrictive diets, Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet…you name it, I likely tried it or went down a rabbit hole to research it to figure out if I should do it (spoiler alert: every fad diet marketing will make you feel like you need to do what they say and forget about any other way to a great body). It wasn’t until I had my first daughter at age 32, that I truly embraced how much mindset matters when it comes to my weight and personal body image.
How did I change my mindset after years of poor patterns?
To summarize, lots of self-reflection, inner work, surrounding myself with other people trying to improve themselves, and a deep desire to not pass my own insecurities onto my kids. I’ll start with the basic changes I made that maybe will help you!
#1 – I stopped talking negatively about my body.
This was probably the biggest pattern I changed. I started writing every day in my journal in the morning, “I do not speak negatively about my body.”. I wrote it every day for over a year as a reminder to not verbalize judgements about my body. And guess what? It worked. About a year later, again this was a tough pattern for me to break after 30+ years of comparing myself to every other woman’s body, I noticed one day that I didn’t think negative thoughts about my body anymore when trying on clothes. My thoughts progressively have turned more loving towards my body since then. And honestly, I’d rather use my brain power for other things than judging my body. I don’t have the energy for that. Our bodies are listening to us. What are you telling your body?
#2 – I found people who want to continue to seek personal growth.
I would like to say that my husband is on the same page as me for moving his body daily, talking about goals, and nourishing his body for optimal energy. But he’s not. And it’s taken me most of our relationship to accept that it’s ok that we have different interests. But I need to have support in this area and connect with people. So I regularly join online opportunities to connect with other women seeking to be their best self. I never thought the internet is where I would build connections with others, but I have and it’s wonderful. I have worked with a life coach, parenting coach, and found a wellness community that I can tap into every day for joy and inspiration. Finding the right online connections on social media can also completely change your newsfeed to a positive and uplifting scroll. Who are you surrounding yourself with?
#3 I became safe in my body.
Oh man, this one is a big one that I’m still working on. One of our basic human needs is safety. Of course, physical safety, feeling safe in your surroundings, but what about feeling safe to express your emotions or be your true self? My blog name, “Genuinely Jen” is a nod to this work, because being your genuine self in American society can be a challenge. I had an idyllic childhood growing up and definitely felt safe in my surroundings, but looking back on my high school and college years, there were so many parts of me that I began to hide because I just wanted to fit in. I didn’t feel safe to express all the parts of me that made me, me. I also didn’t feel comfortable showing off my beauty, which I find is common with many women. We’ve been taught for most our lives to be beautiful, but not too beautiful, because it can be distracting to others. Do you feel safe being your true self? I believe that this world would be an amazing place if every woman felt safe to let their sparkle shine.
Wellness isn’t just measured in weight loss.
So let’s go back to my initial discovery that the scale hasn’t moved yet. As I mentioned, my skin is clearer. I’m less bloated. I have energy again. And I generally have more confidence in myself. I FEEL good in my body. These are the things I measure in these days instead of pounds lost on the scale. I’ve found what lights my fire to keep me going on this journey. The scale is just one tool, in a sea of many, to measure wellness. At the end of the day, how I FEEL is a greater driver than anything else in my wellness. What’s your favorite non-scale measurement? I’d love to know.